In a world that often emphasizes performance over process and perfection over progress, many children struggle with low self-esteem and a lack of confidence. Caroline Goldsmith, a renowned psychologist at ATC Ireland, believes that building confidence from the inside out is key to raising resilient and emotionally healthy children. Her approach integrates the principles of positive psychology to help children develop a strong sense of self-worth and inner belief.
This blog explores what true confidence looks like in childhood, why it matters, and how positive psychology can nurture it in everyday life.
Understanding Confidence in Children
Confidence isn’t about arrogance or never making mistakes—it’s about believing in one’s ability to try, learn, and grow. Confident children are more likely to:
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Take healthy risks
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Speak up for themselves
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Navigate social situations with ease
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Handle failure with grace
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Pursue their goals with motivation
According to Caroline Goldsmith, confidence is like a muscle—it grows stronger through use, support, and encouragement. And it can be developed at any age with the right mindset and environment.
The Role of Positive Psychology in Confidence Building
Positive psychology focuses on what’s going right—on strengths, potential, gratitude, and growth. Goldsmith incorporates this approach into her work with children to reinforce positive identity and emotional resilience.
Instead of focusing solely on correcting weaknesses or problems, she helps children and families:
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Identify and amplify character strengths
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Cultivate gratitude and optimism
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Reframe negative self-talk
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Celebrate effort, not just achievement
These techniques build internal validation, meaning the child doesn’t rely on external approval to feel worthy.
Caroline Goldsmith’s Confidence-Building Strategies for Children
1. Identify and Celebrate Strengths
Helping children recognize what they’re good at builds a foundation of confidence.
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Use strengths-based assessments or discussions (e.g., “What are three things you’re proud of?”)
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Encourage children to try new things and discover hidden talents
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Celebrate not only successes but consistent effort and kindness
Goldsmith often uses the VIA Character Strengths model in sessions to help children see their natural capabilities.
2. Replace Negative Self-Talk with Empowering Beliefs
Children often internalize criticism or failure as evidence they’re not good enough. This mindset erodes confidence over time.
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Teach them to recognize “inner critics” and reframe thoughts (e.g., “I can’t do this” becomes “I’m learning this”)
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Practice affirmations like “I am brave,” “I can keep trying,” or “Mistakes help me grow”
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Encourage open conversation about mistakes and what can be learned from them
Caroline Goldsmith reminds us that a child’s self-talk becomes their self-image—so choose words wisely.
3. Create Opportunities for Success
Confidence grows when children experience meaningful success through effort.
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Set up manageable challenges that stretch their abilities without overwhelming them
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Break larger tasks into smaller, achievable steps
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Praise the process (“You worked really hard on that puzzle!”) instead of just the outcome
Small wins build momentum and reinforce the idea that they are capable.
4. Encourage Autonomy and Decision-Making
Giving children age-appropriate choices helps them feel in control and capable.
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Let them choose outfits, meals, or activities where possible
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Involve them in family decisions or plans
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Ask for their input and opinions—and take them seriously
Goldsmith notes that autonomy fosters intrinsic motivation and personal responsibility, both key ingredients in confident development.
5. Foster a Growth Mindset
Teaching that abilities can be developed with effort helps children persevere in the face of challenges.
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Use language that focuses on progress, not perfection: “You haven’t figured it out yet”
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Share stories of people who overcame difficulties with persistence
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Model how you handle your own mistakes with resilience
Goldsmith often uses visual metaphors—like a brain that “grows stronger with effort”—to help children grasp the concept of growth mindset.
6. Surround Children with Encouragement and Connection
A supportive environment can be the most powerful fuel for a child’s self-belief.
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Offer consistent encouragement without pressuring
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Celebrate uniqueness and individual paths
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Surround them with people who uplift and respect them
Children thrive when they feel seen, heard, and valued. Caroline Goldsmith believes that connection is the soil where confidence grows.
7. Practice Gratitude and Positive Reflection
Gratitude promotes emotional well-being and reframes how children view themselves and the world.
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Create a gratitude jar or journal together
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Reflect on three things that went well at the end of each day
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Celebrate “small wins” and acts of kindness
Goldsmith uses these exercises to boost positive mood, increase self-awareness, and build resilience.
Final Thoughts from Caroline Goldsmith
“Confidence doesn’t mean never feeling scared—it means believing you can move forward even when you feel scared,” says Goldsmith. “When children understand that their worth isn’t dependent on being perfect, they become free to try, grow, and shine.”
With the tools of positive psychology, we can help children discover their strengths, challenge their doubts, and cultivate confidence that lasts a lifetime.
Contact Information:
Caroline’s practice is easily reachable through her website, email, or phone, ensuring clients have multiple ways to Connect and Resources.